"Men without confidence don't attract women" - this is an absolute truth in dating.
In the host club I managed, the biggest difference between successful and unsuccessful hosts was **the presence or absence of confidence**. More than looks or conversation skills, confidence was the foundation that determined everything.
Today, I'm revealing the "7 Steps to Building Confidence" that I've practiced myself and used to transform countless men. This isn't just motivational talk. It's **a concrete action program based on scientific evidence**.
Why Do Confident Men Attract Women? The Biological and Psychological Mechanisms
It's no coincidence that confident men are attractive. There are clear biological and psychological reasons behind it.
Biological Approach: The Relationship Between Testosterone and Confidence
Confident men tend to have higher testosterone levels. Testosterone, the primary male hormone, brings the following effects:
- **Better posture**
- **Deeper, resonant voice**
- **Increased decisiveness**
- **Fearlessness toward risk**
These are all elements women are instinctively attracted to. In other words, by gaining confidence, you become biologically more attractive.
Psychological Approach: The Power of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Men who believe "I'm attractive" actually become attractive. This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Behavior patterns of confident men:
1. Approach actively
2. Don't fear rejection
3. Act naturally
4. Can focus on entertaining others
These behaviors ultimately increase success rates. **Confidence breeds success, and success breeds more confidence** - creating a positive cycle.
7 Concrete Steps to Build Confidence
Step 1: Build Your Foundation Through Physical Transformation
The foundation of confidence is the body. Strong confidence doesn't emerge from a weak body.
My recommended physical transformation program:
- **Weight training 3x per week** (45 minutes each)
- **Morning runs** (20 minutes)
- **Martial arts training** (once per week)
Martial arts is especially important. The confidence of "I can fight if necessary" fundamentally changes your daily demeanor.
Specific target metrics:
- Body fat: Under 15%
- Bench press: 1.2x body weight
- 5km run: Under 25 minutes
Achieve these, and confidence will surge every time you look in the mirror.
Step 2: Build Success Through the "Small Win Strategy"
Big confidence comes from accumulating small successes.
Small wins to practice:
1. **Wake up at 5 AM for one week**
2. **Talk to 3 strangers daily**
3. **Try one new thing every day**
4. **Ask for something expecting rejection**
The key is **the mindset that failure is okay**. The challenge itself becomes a success experience.
Step 3: Master a Specialty to Build "Your Castle"
It's crucial to create one field where you're unbeatable. This becomes your core confidence.
How to build expertise:
- **Study the same thing 2 hours daily for a year**
- **Read 100 books in that field**
- **Repeat practice and improvement**
- **Master it to a teaching level**
For me, it was "understanding human psychology." The insights gained during my host days still serve me in business.
Step 4: Invest in Appearance for "Visual Confidence"
Investing in appearance is an immediate confidence-building method.
Investment priorities (in order):
1. **Hairstyle** (salon visit monthly)
2. **Clothing** (choose what fits your body type)
3. **Shoes** (rotate 3+ pairs)
4. **Skincare** (minimum moisturizing essential)
5. **Posture correction** (use chiropractic or yoga)
I recommend allocating 10% of monthly income to appearance investment. This isn't waste—it's **an investment in increasing self-worth**.
Step 5: Strategically Improve Communication Skills
Confidence grows through interactions with others. Improving communication skills is essential.
Communication training to practice:
- **Eye contact practice** (look into their eyes for 3 seconds)
- **Lower your voice tone** (record and check)
- **Slow down speaking speed** (1.2x slower)
- **Use their name in conversation** (3+ times)
These are all concrete actions you can practice starting today.
Step 6: Strengthen Your Inner Self Through Mental Training
True confidence comes from within. Mental strengthening is unavoidable.
Effective mental training:
1. **Meditation** (10 minutes every morning)
2. **Affirmations** (self-affirmation in the mirror)
3. **Visualization** (concretizing success images)
4. **Journaling** (write 3 daily successes each night)
Most importantly, **stop negative self-talk**. When "I'm no good" thoughts arise, immediately replace with "I can do this."
Step 7: Change Your Environment to Create "Confidence-Growing Soil"
Environment shapes people. It's important to intentionally create an environment that nurtures confidence.
Environment improvement points:
- **Cut negative relationships**
- **Join successful people's communities**
- **Create supportive friends who encourage challenges**
- **Organize your room** (environment reflects mind)
Relationships are especially important. **You become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with**. Choosing who you associate with is choosing yourself.
Practical Techniques for Applying Confidence to Dating
Approach Mindset: "Rejection is Normal" Mentality
The biggest characteristic of confident men is **not fearing rejection**.
Correct approach mindset:
- Success if 1 in 10 responds positively
- Rejection is about compatibility (unrelated to your value)
- Rather, you grow with each rejection
- You'll do better next time
With this mindset, approaching becomes enjoyable.
Showing Confidence on Dates
Concrete actions to show confidence on dates:
1. **Always make restaurant reservations yourself**
2. **Decide on menu items quickly** (don't hesitate)
3. **Lead the conversation** (ask questions)
4. **Use expansive body language**
5. **Naturally handle the payment**
However, this isn't about being arrogant. It's important to **lead while cherishing your partner**.
Maintaining Confidence in Relationships
It's important to maintain confidence even after starting to date.
Methods for maintaining relationship confidence:
- **Value your own time**
- **Don't become dependent**
- **Continue self-improvement**
- **Don't forget gratitude and expressions of love**
Many men lose confidence after starting relationships. They lose themselves by accommodating too much. **Loving your partner while maintaining your core** - this balance is crucial.
Cautions Against Overconfidence
Balancing with Humility
True confidence coexists with humility. Overconfidence is mere bravado.
Points for maintaining balance:
- **Courage to acknowledge weaknesses**
- **Attitude of learning from others**
- **Flexibility to learn from failures**
- **Capacity to recognize others' strengths**
The attitude of "I can still grow" generates true confidence.
Combining Confidence with Kindness
Confident men can be kind. Because **they don't see others as threats**.
Ways to combine confidence and kindness:
- Listen to others until the end
- Offer suggestions instead of criticism
- Help those in weak positions
- Handle situations calmly without becoming emotional
Men who can do this are truly attractive.
Conclusion: Confidence is the Ultimate Weapon for Changing Your Life
Confidence improves not just dating but life overall. It works positively in work, relationships, health—everything.
The 7 steps I've introduced are what I've practiced and proven effective:
1. Physical transformation
2. Small win strategy
3. Establishing expertise
4. Appearance investment
5. Communication improvement
6. Mental training
7. Environment improvement
Practice these one by one, and you'll gain **confidence like a different person in 3 months**.
Finally, I want to convey that confidence isn't innate. **Confidence is like muscle—it definitely gets stronger with training**.
Take the first step right now. Small actions lead to great confidence.
Become a confident man, and dating success will follow. No, not just dating. Life itself will bend to your will.
