'Where should we go for the first date?' This is a question everyone faces when meeting someone wonderful through dating apps. When I started dating, I failed many times with location selection.
I've had conversations fall flat in fancy restaurants due to nervousness, or couldn't hear my date in noisy izakayas. **Wrong location choices alone prevented second dates** many times.
However, after experiencing over 100 first dates in 3 years, I now maintain an **over 80% success rate**. In this article, I'll share effective location selection methods and situation-specific recommendations.
Why First Date Location Selection Is So Important
Psychological Impact of Location
It's no exaggeration to say that **70% of first date success depends on location choice**. The environment's impact on psychological state is greater than imagined.
For example:
- **Too quiet places**: Silence becomes awkward
- **Too noisy places**: Can't focus on conversation
- **Too fancy places**: Too nervous to be natural
- **Too casual places**: Doesn't convey seriousness
I once booked a high-end French restaurant for a first date. The result was terrible. We were both nervous with stilted conversation, and I don't even remember the food. **Instead of closing the distance, it pushed us further apart**.
Clarifying First Date Objectives
What are first date objectives? I believe there are three:
1. **Getting to know each other** (conversation-friendly environment)
2. **Relaxing and enjoying** (non-tense atmosphere)
3. **Leading to next time** (leaving good impression)
To achieve these objectives, **appropriate location selection** is essential.
5 Points for Fail-Safe First Date Location Selection
1. Prioritize Conversation Ease
The most important thing on first dates is **conversation**. Since it's time to know each other, choose conversation-friendly environments.
**Good examples:**
- Cafes with moderate background music
- Restaurants with private/semi-private rooms
- Quiet park benches
**Bad examples:**
- Bars with loud music
- Crowded izakayas
- Movie theaters (can't talk)
2. Set Time to About 2 Hours
The trick is **keeping first dates short**. I always keep them within 2 hours.
Reasons:
- Neither gets tired
- Topics don't run out
- Leaves desire to 'talk more'
- Not painful if compatibility is poor
Data shows **higher second date rates** when wrapping up in 2 hours.
3. Consider Accessibility
Often overlooked, but **good access** is important. Especially considering women:
- Close to their nearest station
- Within 5-minute walk from station
- Easy to find location
- Safe area with foot traffic
I always scout beforehand to confirm directions.
4. Keep Budget Reasonable
No need to show off on first dates. Rather choose **price ranges allowing naturalness**.
My standards:
- Lunch: 1,000-2,000 yen/person
- Cafe: 500-1,000 yen/person
- Dinner: 2,000-4,000 yen/person
This range allows both to enjoy without concern.
5. Consider Season and Weather
Often forgotten is consideration for **season and weather**.
- **Summer**: Air-conditioned indoors
- **Winter**: Warm indoors
- **Rainy days**: Station-connected facilities
- **Sunny days**: Cafes with terrace seating
Having a weather-independent **Plan B** provides security.
15 Recommended Date Spots by Situation
Classic Cafe Dates (85% Success Rate)
**1. Starbucks Reserve Stores**
- Special yet casual
- Menu provides conversation topics
- Spacious seating
**2. Unique Independent Cafes**
- Become conversation topics
- Quiet, calm atmosphere
- Instagram-worthy
**3. Hotel Lounges**
- Luxurious without being stiff
- Quiet for conversation
- Good service
Active Date Spots
**4. Aquariums**
- Many conversation starters
- Relaxing dim lighting
- Weather-independent
**5. Zoos**
- Natural conversation flow
- Can talk while walking
- Creates common topics
**6. Art/Science Museums**
- Gives intellectual impression
- Quiet, calm atmosphere
- Can share impressions
Lunch Date Recommendations
**7. Italian Restaurants**
- Casual and approachable
- Clear menu options
- Bright atmosphere
**8. Japanese Restaurants**
- Calm atmosphere
- Often have private rooms
- Natural without alcohol
**9. Buffet Restaurants**
- No worry about preferences
- Reasons to leave seats
- Conversation never stops
Unique Date Spots
**10. Board Game Cafes**
- Naturally closes distance
- Many conversation starters
- Shows true personality
**11. Cooking Classes**
- Bond through collaboration
- Natural conversation flow
- Memorable experience
**12. Planetariums**
- Romantic atmosphere
- Relaxing
- Can discuss afterwards
Evening Date Standards
**13. Restaurants with Night Views**
- Special feeling
- Easy conversation topic
- Memorable
**14. Sophisticated Bars**
- Calm conversation setting
- Alcohol eases tension
- Extraordinary feeling
**15. Illumination Spots**
- Seasonal specialness
- Can talk while walking
- Photo opportunities
Successful First Date Case Studies
Case 1: Hobby-Based Date
Their profile mentioned 'loves coffee,' so I chose a **specialty coffee shop**.
Result:
- Bonded over coffee talk
- Shop staff joined conversation
- Made plans for 'different shops next time'
**Location matching their interests** has high success rates.
Case 2: Weather Adaptation
Planned park date, but it rained. Immediately changed to **station building cafe**.
Result:
- Good impression as 'adaptable person'
- Rain led to weather conversation
- Relaxed atmosphere for talking
**Flexible response** earns points.
Case 3: Creating Shared Experience
Suggested pottery experience date.
Result:
- Natural conversation while working
- Could compliment each other's work
- Next plan to 'show completed pieces'
**Creating something together** effectively deepens bonds.
NG First Date Locations to Avoid
Absolutely Avoid These Places
From my failures, I recommend avoiding:
**1. Karaoke**
- Raises guard in private room
- Can't converse
- Pressure about singing ability
**2. Home**
- Maximum guard level
- Doesn't convey seriousness
- Source of trouble
**3. Overly Expensive Restaurants**
- Tension prevents conversation
- Makes date uncomfortable
- Raises next time's hurdle
**4. Family Restaurants/Fast Food**
- Doesn't convey seriousness
- No special feeling
- Not memorable
**5. Crowded Theme Parks**
- Long wait times
- Tiring
- Can't talk leisurely
Conclusion: 'Partner's Perspective' Is Key to First Date Location Success
The most important thing learned in 3 years of dating is **thinking from the partner's perspective**.
Successful first date location points:
1. **Prioritize conversation-friendly environment**
2. **Short 2-hour setting**
3. **Good access location**
4. **Reasonable budget**
5. **Consider partner's preferences**
Just being conscious of these dramatically increases first date success rates.
After improving location selection, my **second date rate rose from 30% to 80%**. Location choice alone changes results this much.
Finally, it's important not to overthink perfect location selection. Even with minor failures, **sincere response and consideration** will surely reach your partner.
Using methods introduced in this article, enjoy wonderful first dates. May your romance bloom!
