Can't choose between my bias and my boyfriend? Girl, I totally get that Gen Z struggle!
This question comes up so often in our friend group chats: 'Who's more important, your bias or your boyfriend?' Honestly, I think the question itself is kinda ridiculous. The love for your bias and the love for your boyfriend are completely different types of feelings, right?
Until last year, I was all 'Who needs romance when you have your bias?' But now I have a boyfriend AND I'm still going hard with my fan activities. Actually, having both makes every day feel so much more fulfilling!
But let's be real - balancing both can be tough. When concerts clash with date nights, or when you've spent all your money on merch and can't afford that dinner date... We've all been there, haven't we?
Why Fandom and Romance Are Actually Perfect Together
This might surprise you, but girls who are into fandom culture are actually super attractive in relationships!
First off, fangirls are **passionate and loyal**. The dedication you show supporting your bias? That translates directly into relationships. Being able to wholeheartedly support someone you love is such an amazing quality!
Plus, fandom activities seriously **level up your communication skills**. Social media interactions, meeting new people at events, exchanging info with fellow fans... These are all skills that work in romance too.
Actually, most of the fangirls I know have pretty fulfilling love lives. Some have even gotten super cute by learning fashion and makeup tips from their biases!
Why Fangirls Are Relationship Material
There are so many reasons why girls in fandom culture are attractive to partners.
The biggest one? Being **honest about what you love**. Girls who can proudly support their bias are genuine with their emotions, and that's incredibly attractive.
Also, being in fandom gives you **tons to talk about**. Not just about your bias, but concert experiences, travel stories, things you'd never experience in regular college life.
And most importantly, you can **enjoy your own time**. Since fandom is essentially a solo activity, you can have a non-codependent relationship. This is SO important!
Dealing With the Challenges of Balance
Let's be honest - balancing fandom and romance isn't easy. But with some smart strategies, it totally works!
Time Management Tips
Let me share my time management hacks!
First, **a planner is absolutely essential**. You need to visualize both your bias's schedule and dates with your boyfriend. I use Notion for calendar management - pink for bias-related stuff, blue for boyfriend stuff.
**Setting priorities** is crucial. Like, birthday events or once-a-year concerts are absolute priorities. But regular livestreams? I can catch the replay. My boyfriend's birthday and our anniversaries are equally important.
Also, **master the art of multitasking**! Watch livestreams during cozy home dates, organize merch while on the phone with your boyfriend. You can create time with creativity!
Rethinking Your Budget
Fandom gets expensive, right? You want all the limited edition albums, all the merch, tickets to every show. But you also want to go on dates!
The solution? **Separate your fandom and dating budgets**. From my part-time job money, I allocate $200 for fandom stuff and $100 for dates each month.
**Share merch with fandom friends**! When you buy multiple copies for bonuses, split them with friends to save money. Use the savings for a nice restaurant date!
Also, find **fandom activities you can enjoy together**! Watch dramas featuring your bias together, listen to their music together. Save on both date money and fandom expenses!
Getting Your Boyfriend to Understand Your Fandom
'I can't tell my boyfriend about my fandom activities...' So many girls struggle with this. But hiding it forever is exhausting, and isn't it worse if he finds out later?
When to Come Clean
From my experience, **about one month into dating** is the best timing. It's when you both want to know more about each other, and the relationship isn't too set yet, so it's easier to accept.
When you tell him, **frame it as 'just a hobby'**. Something casual like 'I really like this group and sometimes go to their concerts.'
Don't hit him with 'My bias is my life!' right away. Gradually share the joy of fandom!
Sharing the Appeal
To get your boyfriend to understand, **emphasize the positive aspects**.
Like, 'It gives me energy,' 'I've made so many friends,' 'I've discovered new interests' - highlight the positives.
**Compare it to his hobbies**. Say something like 'It's the same feeling as when you play games' - makes it easier to understand.
And **find parts you can enjoy together**. Play your bias's music in the car, watch shows they appear in together. Gradually get him involved!
7 Rules for Successfully Balancing Both
Here are my '7 Rules for Balancing Fandom and Romance'!
1. Value Transparency
**No secrets** is super important. Be open about both fandom plans and boyfriend plans.
Tell him in advance like 'There's a livestream today, so I'll message you after 9 PM' - he'll understand.
2. Respect Each Time
**Fandom time is fandom time, date time is date time**. Don't constantly check your bias's SNS during dates!
Conversely, when doing fandom stuff, forget about your boyfriend temporarily and enjoy fully. This separation is key.
3. Create Common Topics
Gradually let your boyfriend learn about your bias. Share the fun **without overwhelming him with passion**.
My boyfriend had zero interest at first, but now when new songs drop, he says 'I want to hear it!'
4. Strict Budget Management
**Be strategic with money**. It's kinda bad if you're always going Dutch on dates because you spent everything on fandom.
I use Excel and apps to track spending and maintain balance.
5. Respect Their Hobbies Too
If you want understanding for your fandom, **fully support your boyfriend's hobbies** too.
If he's into gaming, listen to him talk about new releases. If he likes sports, watch games together. It's all about mutual respect!
6. Consider Priorities on Special Days
**Properly prioritize anniversaries and birthdays**. Even if there's a bias event, yearly anniversaries might need to come first.
But for something like a graduation concert, honestly discuss with your boyfriend. An understanding partner will get it.
7. Prioritize Your Happiness
Ultimately, **you need to be happy**. Both fandom and romance should make you happy.
If you're sacrificing one and suffering, maybe stop and reconsider. Being honest with your feelings is most important!
Managing Fandom and Romance on Social Media
Posting on social media requires some thought. Many people separate their fandom and personal accounts.
Account Management Strategy
I use **three different accounts**:
1. **Fandom-only account**: Only bias-related posts
2. **Private account**: Photos with boyfriend and daily life
3. **University account**: Content that's okay for job hunting
This way, I can post content suited to each audience!
Using Stories Effectively
**Use the close friends feature on Stories extensively**! Share bias info with fandom friends, couple memories with boyfriend.
Since they disappear in 24 hours, you can post casually. Like screenshots of LINE-ing your boyfriend while watching livestreams - shows that balance (lol)
Conclusion: It's Okay to Treasure Both Your Bias and Boyfriend
Balancing fandom and romance might seem difficult at first. But once you try, it's surprisingly doable, and having both actually enriches your life!
You learn from your bias, you learn from your boyfriend. **Both are precious presences that help you grow**.
You don't need to choose between 'bias or boyfriend?' We're versatile Gen Z - we can definitely handle both!
Let's enjoy both fandom and romance to the fullest. These are things we can only do while we're young. Let's live in the moment with no regrets!
Finally, to everyone balancing fandom and romance - you're doing amazing. Let's keep supporting each other! And to the fangirls not dating yet, don't stress. Your bias definitely wants you to be happy too.
