Marital quarrels and disagreements occur at a moment’s notice in everyday life.
You may feel hurt or annoyed by your partner’s casual comments.
Even if you are on good terms with each other, words can sometimes be a deadly weapon. If you are not careful, they can unintentionally cause cracks in your marriage. In this issue, we will introduce some “words that can damage marital harmony” that should never be uttered, no matter how angry you may be, and some countermeasures to improve the relationship.
Moaning about the work.‘Which is more important, work or family?’
Why can’t you take time off?
You don’t make much money.
No matter how hard it is, you work hard for the sake of your family and your life. However, if your partner complains about your work instead of giving you words of appreciation, you may feel helpless.
Men, in particular, unlike women, are not good at multitasking, and thinking about multiple things at the same time. Even if they want to take care of their families, men are clumsy at balancing work and home life.
Refrain from complaining in a way that annoys your partner.
Bad-mouthing your partner’s family(You speak poorly of your partner’s family.)
‘How were you raised?
‘I don’t want to go to your parents’ house.
It would never happen in my parents’ house.
Talking bad about your parents or siblings is like talking bad about yourself. It sounds like a denial of the person’s character.
Each family has its common sense. Do not forget to respect your partner’s family as well as your partner himself/herself.
Words that attack the partner one-sidedly
It’s your fault this happened.
It’s your fault.
Are you blaming your partner based on your criteria? If you are angry at your partner without listening to what he or she has to say, only you will feel relieved. If all you do is complain, the other person will feel as if he or she is being unilaterally blamed.
In addition, be careful of words that rehash past frustrations. Blaming your partner by saying, “I told you this at the time,” will not solve the problem, so try to avoid it.
You need to make an effort to listen to what your partner has to say without assuming that you are right.
Complaining about friends and hobbies
What’s so important about your friends?
You go out drinking all the time.
I want to spend more time with my family…” If you come home late from work on weekdays and go out on weekends, it’s not good.
However, communication over drinks can make it easier to get work done, and time for hobbies and friends can help relieve stress.
Even if you are frustrated by a partner who prioritizes friends and hobbies, complaining too much will make your marriage difficult. The house becomes an uncomfortable place and you end up going out more, creating a vicious cycle. A person who is tolerant of his or her partner will be better able to keep the marriage on track.
Saying things that lead to divorce
I wish I had never married you.
You could have found someone better.
Don’t say things that imply divorce unless you are serious about getting a divorce. No matter how angry you may feel, hold it in. The words associated with divorce can seriously hurt your partner and devastate him beyond repair. Even if you are just trying to get their attention, it will have the opposite effect.
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